## Byron Katie's "Seven Principles on Beliefs" ### PRINCIPLE 1: Beliefs vs. Reality - **Beliefs vs. Reality** - Beliefs often describe how others should behave. - Laura should be on time. - Jenny should clean her room. - Jason should apply to college. - Bob should get a job. - Reality describes how people actually do behave. - Laura is rarely on time. - Jenny's room is messy. - Jason's college applications are not filled out. - Bob is unemployed. - Reality is what's happening. Beliefs are perceptions about reality. - **Assessment:** In this principle, Byron Katie differentiates between beliefs and reality. It's about how our expectations of how others should behave differ from how they actually behave. This principle encourages understanding that beliefs are subjective perceptions, while reality is objective and factual. ### PRINCIPLE 2: Primary & Secondary Beliefs - **Primary & Secondary Beliefs** - There are two kinds of beliefs. First, a Primary Belief arises. - For example, Bonnie shouldn't smoke. - Then comes a barrage of Secondary Beliefs, such as: - She will get wrinkles. - She will get cancer. - People won't want to visit her. - Nice men won't sleep with her. - Ad infinitum. - A Belief System is a cluster of beliefs--a Primary Belief and all of its babies, or Secondary Beliefs. - Katie is fond of saying that beliefs procreate like rabbits. - What an apt analogy! - **Assessment:** This principle introduces the concept of Primary and Secondary Beliefs, illustrating how an initial belief spawns a cascade of interconnected thoughts. It highlights how beliefs multiply and evolve, shaping our perceptions and actions. ### PRINCIPLE 3: Three Kinds of Business - **Three Kinds of Business** - Katie says there are three kinds of business--yours, other people's, and Nature's (forces beyond your control). - When you believe someone should behave differently, you are in their business. - 'It's a terrific burden to be concerned about solutions to others' problems,' writes Jack Dawson, the author of a book about Katie. - 'One can significantly narrow down one's own suffering by restricting oneself to one's own business.' - (You know about this from reading books on co-dependency.) - **Assessment:** This principle categorizes life's aspects into three types of business and emphasizes focusing on one's own business. It underlines how attempting to control others' actions leads to suffering and how letting go of such control can lead to greater peace. ### PRINCIPLE 4: Critical Beliefs & Suffering - **Critical Beliefs & Suffering** - Now read the sentence you wrote. (If you didn't write it. Do so now.) How does it make you feel? Look inside. Does it make you feel sad, upset, angry, or miffed? Feel it. Take your time. - You have just experienced, in a small way, what it feels like to have an angry thought about someone. - Critical beliefs are emotional heat sinks that draw energy like cosmic black holes. - Not only are they draining, but they make it impossible to 'be here now'--to hear birds singing, to watch children playing, to smell the roses. - **Assessment:** This principle discusses how critical beliefs affect emotions and prevent being present. It prompts readers to observe their reactions to negative thoughts and emphasizes their draining impact. The assessment highlights the analogy of critical beliefs as emotional "heat sinks." ### PRINCIPLE 5: Critical Beliefs & Intimacy - **Critical Beliefs & Intimacy** - Notice what happens to intimacy while you are thinking critical thoughts about someone--at lunch, on a walk, on the phone. - A seemingly harmless thought like, 'Her hair is weird,' can diminish or destroy intimacy. - Such a thought leads to a stream of unconscious Secondary Beliefs such as--She has a bad perm. Her dye job is brassy. She obviously can't afford a good cut. - Notice how hard it is to listen to someone while you are thinking they should change. - A friend could be telling you she has just found a lump in her breast--and you don't hear her because you are focused on her hair. - Listening is hard work under the best of circumstances. The mind-chatter of Secondary Beliefs (even positive ones) separates us from others. Conversely, when we are non-judgmental, we become tolerant, kindhearted, and dignified--traits which foster intimacy. - **Assessment:** This principle explores how critical thoughts disrupt intimacy and suggests that non-judgmental attitudes lead to more compassionate connections. The assessment underscores the challenge of active listening while critical thoughts dominate, leading to emotional disconnection. ### PRINCIPLE 6: Beliefs & Identity - **Beliefs & Identity** - We are proud of our beliefs. - We think they make us unique. - But Katie says there are no original beliefs. - 'They've all been recycled. Try to come up with a new one. I haven't heard one in ten years. It's no wonder we're bored--the same beliefs keep popping up.' - But who would you be without your beliefs? - 'That's a scary thought for most people,' says Katie, 'You would be one, whole, clarity, peace, love, home, in your natural state, in the space between beliefs. The Self. You are always one belief away from being whole. That doesn't sound scary to me. Feeling separated frightens me more.' - **Assessment:** This principle challenges the notion that beliefs define us and highlights the liberation in letting go. The assessment emphasizes that our beliefs are recycled and invites readers to explore a self untethered by beliefs, leading to a sense of wholeness. ### PRINCIPLE 7: Behavior without Beliefs - **Behavior without Beliefs** - 'But without my beliefs, I won't know what to do.' Don't worry, you'll know what to do. - When you get hungry, you'll eat. - When you get tired, you'll sleep. - When you get lonely, you'll call a friend. - When your child misbehaves, you'll create consequences. - When your wife beats you, you'll leave. - When there's a fire, you'll call 911. - Without beliefs, you will learn to trust your natural responses. - You will act appropriately. All of the world's inappropriate behaviors--war, crime, starvation, pollution, overpopulation, and bad schools, to name just a few--are caused by beliefs. Haven't you noticed? - We like what Jon Kabat-Zinn says about beliefs in his book, Wherever You Go There You Are--'A non-judging orientation certainly does not mean that you cease knowing how to act or behave responsibly in society, or that anything anybody does is okay. - It simply means that we can act with much greater clarity in our own lives, --- ### PRINCIPLE 1: BELIEFS AND REALITY DIFFER. Beliefs often describe how others should behave. Laura should be on time. Jenny should clean her room. Jason should apply to college. Bob should get a job. Reality describes how people actually do behave. Laura is rarely on time. Jenny's room is messy. Jason's college applications are not filled out. Bob is unemployed. Reality is what's happening. Beliefs are perceptions about reality. ### PRINCIPLE 2: PRIMARY BELIEFS LEAD TO SECONDARY BELIEFS. There are two kinds of beliefs. First, a Primary Belief arises. For example, Bonnie shouldn't smoke. Then comes a barrage of Secondary Beliefs, such as: She will get wrinkles. She will get cancer. People won't want to visit her.Nice men won't sleep with her. Ad infinitum.A Belief System is a cluster of beliefs--a Primary Belief and all of its babies, or Secondary Beliefs. Katie is fond of saying that beliefs procreate like rabbits. What an apt analogy! ### PRINCIPLE 3: THERE ARE THREE KINDS OF BUSINESS. Katie says there are three kinds of business--yours, other people's, and Nature's (forces beyond your control). When you believe someone should behave differently, you are in their business."It's a terrific burden to be concerned about solutions to others' problems," writes Jack Dawson, the author of a book about Katie. "One can significantly narrow down one's own suffering by restricting oneself to one's own business."(You know about this from reading books on co-dependency.) ### PRINCIPLE 4: CRITICAL BELIEFS CAUSE SUFFERING. Now read the sentence you wrote. (If you didn't write it. Do so now.) How does it make you feel? Look inside. Does it make you feel sad, upset, angry, or miffed? Feel it. Take your time.You have just experienced, in a small way, what it feels like to have an angry thought about someone. Critical beliefs are emotional heat sinks that draw energy like cosmic black holes. Not only are they draining, but they make it impossible to "be here now"--to hear birds singing, to watch children playing, to smell the roses. ### PRINCIPLE 5: CRITICAL BELIEFS DESTROY INTIMACY. Notice what happens to intimacy while you are thinking critical thoughts about someone--at lunch, on a walk, on the phone. A seemingly harmless thought like, "Her hair is weird," can diminish or destroy intimacy. Such a thought leads to a stream of unconscious Secondary Beliefs such as--She has a bad perm. Her dye job is brassy. She obviously can't afford a good cut.Notice how hard it is to listen to someone while you are thinking they should change. A friend could be telling you she has just found a lump in her breast--and you don't hear her because you are focused on her hair. Listening is hard work under the best of circumstances.The mind-chatter of Secondary Beliefs (even positive ones) separates us from others. Conversely, when we are non-judgmental, we become tolerant, kindhearted, and dignified--traits which foster intimacy. ### PRINCIPLE 6: WE ARE NOT DEFINED BY OUR BELIEFS. We are proud of our beliefs. We think they make us unique. But Katie says there are no original beliefs. "They've all been recycled. Try to come up with a new one. I haven't heard one in ten years. It's no wonder we're bored--the same beliefs keep popping up."But who would you be without your beliefs?"That's a scary thought for most people," says Katie, "You would be one, whole, clarity, peace, love, home, in your natural state, in the space between beliefs. The Self. You are always one belief away from being whole. That doesn't sound scary to me. Feeling separated frightens me more." ### PRINCIPLE 7: WE DON'T NEED BELIEFS TO TELL US HOW TO BEHAVE. "But without my beliefs, I won't know what to do." Don't worry, you'll know what to do. When you get hungry, you'll eat. When you get tired, you'll sleep. When you get lonely, you'll call a friend. When your child misbehaves, you'll create consequences. When your wife beats you, you'll leave. When there's a fire, you'll call 911.Without beliefs, you will learn to trust your natural responses. You will act appropriately. All of the world's inappropriate behaviors--war, crime, starvation, pollution, overpopulation, and bad schools, to name just a few--are caused by beliefs. Haven't you noticed?We like what Jon Kabat-Zinn says about beliefs in his book, Wherever You Go There You Are--"A non-judging orientation certainly does not mean that you cease knowing how to act or behave responsibly in society, or that anything anybody does is okay. It simply means that we can act with much greater clarity in our own lives, and be more balanced, more effective, and more ethical in our activities." --- ## Byron Katie's "Seven Principles on Beliefs: | | | | | ----------------------------------------------- | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | **Byron Katie's "Seven Principles on Beliefs:** | **Original Text** | **Assessment/Summary** | | | | | | **PRINCIPLE 1: Beliefs vs. Reality** | "**Beliefs often describe how others should behave.** Laura should be on time. Jenny should clean her room. Jason should apply to college. Bob should get a job. **Reality describes how people actually do behave.** Laura is rarely on time. Jenny's room is messy. Jason's college applications are not filled out. Bob is unemployed. **Reality is what's happening. Beliefs are perceptions about reality.**" | In this principle, Byron Katie differentiates between beliefs and reality. It's about how our expectations of how others should behave differ from how they actually behave. This principle encourages understanding that beliefs are subjective perceptions, while reality is objective and factual. | | | | | | **PRINCIPLE 2: Primary & Secondary Beliefs** | "**There are two kinds of beliefs. First, a Primary Belief arises.** For example, Bonnie shouldn't smoke. Then comes a barrage of Secondary Beliefs, such as: She will get wrinkles. She will get cancer. People won't want to visit her. Nice men won't sleep with her. Ad infinitum. **A Belief System is a cluster of beliefs--a Primary Belief and all of its babies, or Secondary Beliefs.** Katie is fond of saying that beliefs procreate like rabbits. What an apt analogy!" | This principle introduces the concept of Primary and Secondary Beliefs, illustrating how an initial belief spawns a cascade of interconnected thoughts. It highlights how beliefs multiply and evolve, shaping our perceptions and actions. | | | | | | **PRINCIPLE 3: Three Kinds of Business** | "**Katie says there are three kinds of business--yours, other people's, and Nature's (forces beyond your control).** When you believe someone should behave differently, you are in their business. 'It's a terrific burden to be concerned about solutions to others' problems,' writes Jack Dawson, the author of a book about Katie. 'One can significantly narrow down one's own suffering by restricting oneself to one's own business.' (You know about this from reading books on co-dependency.)" | This principle categorizes life's aspects into three types of business and emphasizes focusing on one's own business. It underlines how attempting to control others' actions leads to suffering and how letting go of such control can lead to greater peace. | | | | | | **PRINCIPLE 4: Critical Beliefs & Suffering** | "**Now read the sentence you wrote.** (If you didn't write it. Do so now.) How does it make you feel? Look inside. Does it make you feel sad, upset, angry, or miffed? Feel it. Take your time. **You have just experienced, in a small way, what it feels like to have an angry thought about someone. Critical beliefs are emotional heat sinks that draw energy like cosmic black holes.** Not only are they draining, but they make it impossible to 'be here now'--to hear birds singing, to watch children playing, to smell the roses." | This principle discusses how critical beliefs affect emotions and prevent being present. It prompts readers to observe their reactions to negative thoughts and emphasizes their draining impact. The assessment highlights the analogy of critical beliefs as emotional "heat sinks." | | | | | | **PRINCIPLE 5: Critical Beliefs & Intimacy** | "**Notice what happens to intimacy while you are thinking critical thoughts about someone**--at lunch, on a walk, on the phone. A seemingly harmless thought like, 'Her hair is weird,' can diminish or destroy intimacy. Such a thought leads to a stream of unconscious Secondary Beliefs such as--She has a bad perm. Her dye job is brassy. She obviously can't afford a good cut. **Notice how hard it is to listen to someone while you are thinking they should change.** A friend could be telling you she has just found a lump in her breast--and you don't hear her because you are focused on her hair. Listening is hard work under the best of circumstances. The mind-chatter of Secondary Beliefs (even positive ones) separates us from others. Conversely, when we are non-judgmental, we become tolerant, kindhearted, and dignified--traits which foster intimacy." | This principle explores how critical thoughts disrupt intimacy and suggests that non-judgmental attitudes lead to more compassionate connections. The assessment underscores the challenge of active listening while critical thoughts dominate, leading to emotional disconnection. | | | | | | **PRINCIPLE 6: Beliefs & Identity** | "**We are proud of our beliefs.** We think they make us unique. But Katie says there are no original beliefs. 'They've all been recycled. Try to come up with a new one. I haven't heard one in ten years. It's no wonder we're bored--the same beliefs keep popping up.' **But who would you be without your beliefs?** 'That's a scary thought for most people,' says Katie, 'You would be one, whole, clarity, peace, love, home, in your natural state, in the space between beliefs. The Self. You are always one belief away from being whole. That doesn't sound scary to me. Feeling separated frightens me more.'" | This principle challenges the notion that beliefs define us and highlights the liberation in letting go. The assessment emphasizes that our beliefs are recycled and invites readers to explore a self untethered by beliefs, leading to a sense of wholeness. | | | | | | **PRINCIPLE 7: Behavior without Beliefs** | "**'But without my beliefs, I won't know what to do.'** Don't worry, you'll know what to do. When you get hungry, you'll eat. When you get tired, you'll sleep. When you get lonely, you'll call a friend. When your child misbehaves, you'll create consequences. When your wife beats you, you'll leave. When there's a fire, you'll call 911. **Without beliefs, you will learn to trust your natural responses.** You will act appropriately. All of the world's inappropriate behaviors--war, crime, starvation, pollution, overpopulation, and bad schools, to name just a few--are caused by beliefs. Haven't you noticed? We like what Jon Kabat-Zinn says about beliefs in his book, Wherever You Go There You Are--'A non-judging orientation certainly does not mean that you cease knowing how to act or behave responsibly in society, or that anything anybody does is okay. It simply means that we can act with much greater clarity in our own lives, and be more balanced, more effective, and more ethical in our activities.'" | This principle challenges the idea that beliefs dictate behavior and asserts that innate responses guide actions. The assessment highlights that without beliefs, natural responses lead to more balanced and ethical behavior. | ---