- Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix <http://myauz.com/ianr/articles/lect8hendrix07.pdf> - TIP: Ignore the provocative ‘Most of your partner’s criticisms of you have some basis in reality.’ - ‘Many of your repetitious, emotional criticisms of your partner are disguised statements of your own unmet needs.’ - ‘Some of your repetitious, emotional criticisms of your partner may be an accurate picture of a disowned part of yourself.’ - ‘Some of your criticisms of your partner may help you to identify your own lost self.’ ----  I criticise my wife for being bossy but I secretly admire her ability to be this way - Enjoy the process, let go of outcomes" - “pretend you’re good at it” - "There's only love" In response to negative feelings about others - "People don't notice your mistakes as much as you think" - I appreciate your willingness to X - I appreciate your willingness to drop the subject and move on - "thanks for letting me know"  "thanks for sharing your feedback/thoughts/ideas" - “I’m so happy to do this for you that it feels effortless.” or "You're welcome"