- Tips for Making Assertive Requests—Shift Collab | Therapy Made Simple > <https://www.shiftcollab.com/blog/tips-for-making-assertive-requests> - Use behavioural descriptions: avoid using labels For example: “I noticed you made that decision on my behalf” rather than “You’re controlling” - Avoid generalizations such as, “you always…” or “you never” - Avoid “why” questions to reduce the likelihood of the other person becoming defensive. - Be specific and objective when describing the behaviour or situation. For example: “You don’t appreciate me and I need to feel appreciated” doesn’t give the listener much direction. - Give a concrete example and focus on the most recent incident of the behaviour For example: “I noticed today you….when you do that I feel…”