SCRIPTS - Connecting - People cannot hear when they are busy formulating a response. ⁣⁣⁣ - [[Byron Katie's Seven Principles]] - [What to Say If Someone Isn’t Listening—Stella Grizont - woopaah.com](https://www.woopaah.com/blog/2014/9/25/what-to-say-if-someone-isnt-listening.html) - "Reiterate the conversation’s objective—and the other person’s role in achieving it. - “So just to clarify, I’m here to get your approval on Project Y’s last stage. Do you think that’s something we can accomplish in this meeting?” - [STOP DOING THIS! (NVC DEMO WITH MY STEPBROTHER) - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6wL9qD1z30) - "Don't pretend to understand" - Guessing / Asking Needs - [Key differentiations - NVCWiki - en.nvcwiki.com](https://en.nvcwiki.com/index.php/Key_differentiations) - [Observation vs. Evaluation](https://en.nvcwiki.com/index.php/Observation_vs._Evaluation) - **Observation** Sensual perception, i.e. what I see, hear, taste, smell. - **Evaluation** How I judge my perception or what I think about my perception - [Feeling vs. Thought](https://en.nvcwiki.com/index.php/Feeling_vs._Thought) - **Feeling** personal, subjectiveUsually objective, unpersonalReaction triggered by an observation, that is based on a value judgement (for example: "I need respect.") - **Thought** Using moralistic judgements, I give an observation some meaning (for example: "This is direspectful!" - [Need vs. Strategy or request](https://en.nvcwiki.com/index.php/Need_vs._Strategy_or_request) - **Need** Abstract, no reference to a specific person, action or time - Needs are _a-scriptive_, it is difficult to put words on what is also described as "the universal energy that connects all of us". - Need language is probably the closest we can get to verbally describe this universal energy. - What I want to have _fulfilled_ - **Strategy / Request** Specific, doable, observable behaviour - Descriptive - What I want others or myself to _do_ - [Request vs. Demand](https://en.nvcwiki.com/index.php/Request_vs._Demand) - [NVC Gratitude - PuddleDancer Press - nonviolentcommunication.com](https://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/learn-nonviolent-communication/nvc-gratitude/) - "NVC gratitude and appreciation simply has the intention to celebrate and the secondary purpose of offering feedback. " - [NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION: 7 TIPS WHEN YOUR PARTNER DOESN'T LIKE IT - YouTube - youtube.com](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl7sd9K3m_Q&list=TLPQMDQwNTIwMjEtyYbRfQaRtg&index=8&ab_channel=CupofEmpathy) - "Find your need" - I have a need for connection - "Connect before you correct" - [NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION ~ TOP 7 KEY SENTENCES - YouTube - youtube.com](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MExSN1GcHQ&list=TLPQMDQwNTIwMjEtyYbRfQaRtg&index=7&ab_channel=CupofEmpathy) - ""Do you have space to listen to me for 10 minutes?" - "How would it be for you to..." - "Do you want to try this out for (time) - "Can I think about it and let you know tomorrow?" - "I'd really love to find a way to get both our needs met" - "Because I have a need for - [THE 4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYkgbrZSAY0&list=TLPQMDQwNTIwMjEtyYbRfQaRtg&index=7&ab_channel=CupofEmpathy) [NVC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYkgbrZSAY0&list=TLPQMDQwNTIwMjEtyYbRfQaRtg&index=7&ab_channel=CupofEmpathy) [STEPS MADE SIMPLE - YouTube - youtube.com](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYkgbrZSAY0&list=TLPQMDQwNTIwMjEtyYbRfQaRtg&index=7&ab_channel=CupofEmpathy) - "Observation, a neutral way to describe what happened" - "A few times I noticed..." - "I feel - I feel worried that some people didn't have a chance to express themselves and get heard as well. - "Need" - "I guess have a need for all people in the group to be taken into account and receive care. and also for variety, to have several people express themselves." - "Make a request." "A connection request" or "An action request, can we go around and have 5 minutes for each person to share" - [NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION ~ SCARED TO HURT SOMEONE WITH YOUR MESSAGE? (5 tips) - YouTube - youtube.com](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gZ3d5GzoL8&list=TLPQMDQwNTIwMjEtyYbRfQaRtg&index=4&ab_channel=CupofEmpathy) - "I do care. I don't cause - "I feel scared. Something happens to me when I feel hurt" - Add a proposal - can we find someone else to listen? Can you listen? - You both want the best for each other - Share your message in a connecting way - Be specific and clear